Tampilkan postingan dengan label something sensitif. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label something sensitif. Tampilkan semua postingan

Minggu, 13 Juli 2014

Cerita (Bagian 3)

"Jangan kau kira cinta datang dari keakraban dan pendekatan yang tekun, cinta adalah putera dari kecocokan jiwa dan jikalau itu tiada cinta takkan pernah tercipta, dalam hitungan tahun, bahkan millennia-Khalil Gibran"


Entah mengapa akhir-akhir ini ketika aku sedang disibukkan dengan urusan Tugas Akhir (TA), satu perasaan aneh mulai bergejolak. harusnya, aku harus lebih fokus untuk mengerjakan tugas akhirku agar aku bisa mengambil ujian akhir di bulan Agustus nanti. ibu di rumah sudah menantikan kabar kelulusanku namun mengapa rasanya belum sanggup aku mengabarkan kepadanya kalau aku akan mengambil ujian akhir di bulan Agustus nanti.

ya, kalau di flashback lagi mengapa aku baru bia mengambil ujian akhir di bulan Agustus karena aku sibuk bekerja. Satu bulan lamanya tak pernah aku menyentuh tugas akhirku yang pada akhirnya membuatku harus kerja ekstra agar bisa mengambil ujian akhir. Sudah terlambat menyesali apa yang sudah terjadi.

Kembali, perasaan itu muncul.
Setitik rasa yang seharusnya harus aku abaikan dan bila waktunya tiba barulah akan aku biarkan.
Pertemuan singkat yang membuatku terkesan pada sosoknya.
Pertemuan singkat yang membuatku tak mengerti mengapa ada setitik rasa yang mulai berkecamuk di hati.

***
Sudah hampir dua bulan lamanya aku tak mengunjungi kamar asramaku. Aku tak tahu bagaimana keadaan kamar asramaku meskipun aku tak khawatir atas barang-barangku karena ada teman satu kamarku yang selalu setia menjaga kamar asrama kami dan barulah beberapa hari yang lalu aku mengunjungi kamar kami.

Langkah pertamaku memasuki kamar asrama terasa agak berat. bukan karena aku malas untuk mengunjungi kamar asramaku, tapi karena ada setitik perasaan iri terhadap teman sekamarku yang saat ini sedang dekat dengan seorang laki-laki. Perlu ku pertegas, ini bukan perasaan iri karena aku tak suka akan kedekatan diantara keduanya tapi rasa iri ini muncul karena aku tak bisa merasakan hal yang sama seperti teman sekamarku ketika bertemu sosok lelaki yang menyayanginya.

***
Hari itu, sebuah pesan singkat di aplikasi Blackberry Messenger ponselku berbunyi. Seorang rekan kerja memintaku untuk menggantikan jadwal siarannya. Sudah hampir setengah tahun ini aku menjalani pekerjaan sampinganku sebagai announcer di sebuah stasiun radio di kota tempatku menimba ilmu. Kebetulan hari itu hari Minggu dan aku ternyata punya waktu luang yang bisa aku gunakan untuk mengambil alih jadwal siarannya.

Sebenarnya, perjalanan menuju tempatku bekerja tak terlalu jauh hanya sekitar 15 menit kalau di tempuh menggunakan sepeda motor. Setibanya di sana, seperti biasa aku langsung menghidupkan dua buah komputer yang telah saling terintegrasi untuk mulai aku operasikan. Tak lama berselang, lagu dari Landon Pigg - Fallingin Love in a Coffee Shop aku putarkan.

Sembari menunggu lagu-lagu yang telah aku urutkan dalam playlistku diputar, seperti biasa aku akan mengakses beberapa sosial mediaku. Entah mengapa mataku langsung tertuju dengan sebuah nama yang tak asing bagiku, Sora Ar-Radiya.

Tahun lalu tepatnya di Malang, November 2014, ketika aku berkunjung ke Malang untuk menghadiri sebuah Konferensi Nasional yang bertempat di Universitas Brawijaya, aku juga bertemu dengannya. Setelah 1 tahun sejak terakhir kami bertemu, ia masih persis seperti terakhir kali kami bertemu. Wajahnya yang menenangkan, Khimmar putih yang dipakainya membuatnya terlihat anggun dan seperti biasa comelan khasnya akan selalu aku ingat.

Air mata menetes ketika aku bertemu dengannya. Maklum saja kami adalah teman dekat yang sekarang terpisah jarak dan waktu. Sudah hampir tujuh tahun kami menjalin persaudaraan ini dan ia masih tetap sama sejak pertama kali aku mengenalnya.

"Bagaimana kabarmu, sa?" aku bertanya padanya.
"Alhamdulillah baik" ia menjawab dengan logat jawanya yang khas, "medok" :D.
Tak terasa sudah hampir 1 jam kami duduk dan berbincang, Nisa tiba tiba menanyakan sesuatu padaku.

"Kamu yakin akan terus seperti ini?", tanyanya.
"Lho, memangnya aku kenapa sa?", jawabku.
"Perempuan yang baik, InsyaAllah untuk lelaki yang baik", cetusnya dengan tiba-tiba.

Sejenak aku terdiam atas ucapannya. Aku teringat kalau beberapa waktu yang lalu, aku pernah bercerita padanya kalau aku menyukai seseorang.

"iya sa, InsyaAllah diingat. Doakan aku agar bisa menjadi lebih baik lagi dan perubahan itu bukan semata untuk menarik perhatian orang lain tapi memang karena Allah", jawabku.
"iya. Aku juga sedang belajar untuk lebih baik. Tatalah apa yang sedang ada di hatimu. Abaikanlah untuk saat ini, nanti bila saatnya tiba, hal tersebut akan datang tanpa kau sadari", pungkasnya.

***

Kamis, 01 Mei 2014

MALAM

Hai, malam.
Bagaimana kabarmu sejauh ini?
Di akhir April lalu, sempat ku coba untuk menanyakan kabarmu, tapi apa yang kutanyakan bukanlah kabarmu.
Aku malu.
tapi setidaknya aku jadi sedikit tahu kondisismu.
mungkin kamu terlalu sibuk dengan tugas-tugasmu.
mungkin kamu terlalu sibuk dengan semua aktivitasmu.
aku memakluminya
siapa aku yang mau marah. aku bukan siapa-siapa.
tak pantas juga untuk marah.
memang sulit seperti ini.

Rida, Sita, Dewi - Satu Bintang di Langit Kelam
Angkasa tanpa pesan meringkuh semakin dalam
Berselimut debu waktu, ku menanti cemas
Satu bintang di langit kelam 
Sinarmu rimb pesona dan kutahu tlah tersesat

Kukejar kau...takkan bertepi
Menggapaimu...takkan bersambut
Sendiri membendung rasa ini
Sementara kau membeku

Khayalku terbuai jauh 
Pelita kecilmu mengalir pelan dan aku terbenam..
Redup kilaumu tak mengarah 
Jadilah diriku selatan 

Namun tak kau sadari hingga kini dan nanti...

Jumat, 07 Februari 2014

every illness has its own medicine

Since I still have a connection to the internet (read: free WiFi), I want to share you a bit about one of illness that really dangerous. it;s about Parkinson syndrom. have you ever heard about it? I wish you have :).

Parkinson Syndrom


"Parkinson's disease involves an imbalance between dopamine and acetylcholine, two chemicals involved in transmitting signals from the brain. The imbalance can cause involuntary movement, decreased movement, rigidity, and abnormal walking and posture."

  • Most cases occur without a known cause, but others are induced by drugs or environmental toxins.
    • Drugs such as phenothiazines, butyrophenones, metoclopramide, reserpine, and tetrabenazine may cause a reversible Parkinson's syndrome.
    • Toxins such as manganese dust or carbon disulfide may also lead to disease symptoms.
    • The recreational drug MPTP can cause Parkinson’s by selectively destroying dopamine neurons in the midbrain.
    • In the first half of the 20th century Parkinsonism often developed in patients with a history of von Economo's encephalitis. This type of infection, called encephalitis lethargica, is not now encountered; therefore this type of Parkinson's is rare

Symptoms

  • Tremor
    • Involuntary movement called tremor is most conspicuous at rest, increases at times of emotional stress, and often improves during voluntary activity. 
    • It commonly begins as a rhythmic flexing of the fingers or toes, and frequently involves the face and mouth as well.
    • It often starts asymmetrically, affecting one side of the body more than the other.
  • Rigidity
    • Rigidity typically is uniform throughout the range of movement.
    • In some instances the symptom is described as “cogwheel” rigidity because of the ratchet-like interruptions of passive movement.
  • Hypokinesia
    • The most disabling feature of this disorder, hypokinesia is a slowness of voluntary movement and a reduction in automatic movement, such as arm swinging while walking.
    • Facial symptoms include infrequent blinking, fixed expression, and a smile that develops and fades slowly.
    • The voice typically is low in volume and poorly modulated.
  • Abnormal gait and posture
    • Rising from a bed or easy chair is difficult and standing posture is bent.
    • Patients walk with small, shuffling steps and lack the arm swing that normally accompanies walking. Patients may also have trouble stopping.
Medical Treatment
  • Medical management is first-line therapy in the treatment of patients with Parkinson's disease.
    • Medication can be used to treat the chemical imbalance in the brain by enhancing effects of dopamine and/or blocking the effects of acetylcholine.
    • Levodopa can ease most major symptoms of Parkinson’s, including hypokinesia. The most common side effects are nausea, vomiting, low blood pressure, abnormal movements, restlessness, confusion and occasional cardiac arrhythmias.
    • Anticholinergic drugs that block the effects of acetylcholine are more helpful in alleviating tremor and rigidity than hypokinesia, but overall are generally less effective than dopamine-enhancing medications. Among the most commonly prescribed drugs are trihexyphenidyl (Artane), benztropine (Cogentin), procyclidine (Kemadrin), and orphenadrine (Disipal). Common side effects include dryness of the mouth, constipation, urinary retention, confusion and blurred vision.
    • Amantadine is used to enhance the release of dopamine and can quickly improve all symptoms. Unfortunately, many patients fail to respond and the benefits can be short-lived. Side effects are relatively uncommon but can include restlessness, confusion, skin rashes, edema and cardiac effects.
    • Other options include dopamine agonists, such as bromocriptine, which directly stimulate dopamine receptors.

as I told you in the tittle of this writting, "Every ilness has its own medicine" I believe that Parkinson Syndrom is also can be healed. Allah will always those who believe that just Allah who can help us. your effort, prayer and ikhtiar will paid with the fits one. 

"for my beloved Abah (read: father), Allah will show us the best for you. We always love you"





Rabu, 23 Oktober 2013

Things I hate 'bout you

I just re-post these words.
They represent what I'm going to say if I have a chance having my precious one again.

I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair
and when you're not with your glasses

I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind

I hate you so much
it makes me sick
it even makes me rhyme
I hate it

I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry

I hate when you're not arround,
and the fact you didn't call
but mostly, I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit
not even at all.



Selasa, 22 Oktober 2013

Again, being a stalker

This night, I just checked my Twitter account.
when I checked the connection box, tarammmmm......
"someone's following me". and you know who? He's the one that I just followed this afternoon hehehe. 

Actually, my previous writting is the reason why I still write about being a stalker. 
after being a stalker for his blog, I stalked his Twitter account.hehehe

I found his favourite box is full of love words. ya, meskipun tidak terlalu penuh ya hehehe
oh my........I never thought that his tweets were so "Gombal" hehehe.

when I read it, I can say nothing
I think, he's not a kind of person who can write that kind of words.
OK, I'll give ya a kind of Gombal words that ever be tweeted by him 


"Kenapa kamu harus begitu jauh aku kenal, sehingga ketika kamu pergi, bayangan kamu masih terus muncul di pikiranku."

or

"kamu sejenis reptil yah?"."kenapa emangnya?"."kayaknya kamu mulai merayaprayap dihati aku"."..."

ok, fine. it's better for me just being a stalker for his Blog and twitter account. the only thing that I know is his love's ever given to someone that he really loved. that's it. 

Minggu, 20 Oktober 2013

A Stalker

Being a stalker of someone's blog is my job for tonight :".
I never thought that his blog is consisted by several love story and his wishes to Allah for finding the right one. the right one that I mean here is "the one and only who'll be his lovely wife".aaaaargh......

phewwwww.
am I better of now?
he hopes for someone's good because he's trying to be a good one. he deserves to find that woman

I also  deserve to find a good one in the right time, and....
may I deserve him?
*hiks

it's out of my mind
I can't event imagine that I'll be with him

people say " Be a good one first if you want a good one"
well, OK.
I'll try to be someone's good
and help me fix this self my Lord, Allah SWT :)

Selasa, 03 September 2013

Kahitna - Cinta Sudah Lewat

Kadang ingin aku bertemu
Dan berbagi waktu yang terlalui
Sukar tuk sadari
Ku tak boleh mengingini

Reff:
Tanpa mu cinta tak berarti
Cinta sudah lewat
Tak kukira kan begini
Mengapa harus kau terikat
Meski t'lah terucap
Hanya aku yang ada di hatimu

Pernah kucoba menyisihkan
Namun hati tak rela tuk akui
Kenyataan yang ada kasih
Kau tak mungkin ada di sini

Tanpamu cinta tak berarti
Cinta sudah lewat
Tak kukira kan begini
Mengapa harus kau terikat
Meski t'lah terucap
Hanya aku yang ada di hatimu

Bila memang cinta tak harus slalu miliki
Namun nyatanya tak mudah melupakan

Tanpamu cinta tak berarti
Cinta sudah lewat
Tak kukira kan begini
Mengapa harus kau terikat
Meski t'lah terucap
Hanya aku yang ada di hatimu

Ooooo... ooo...

Tak kukira kan begini
Mengapa harus kau terikat
Meski t'lah terucap
Hanya aku yang ada di...
Hanya aku yang s'lalu di...
Hatimu.

Minggu, 25 Agustus 2013

a four letter word

Love is a four letter word.
love is a thing that given by our Lord, Allah SWT naturally
no one in this world can avoid it.
love, a thing that I ever felt

love is a four letter word
the true one belongs to our lord, Allah SWT
but.....
he allows us to feel it in his world by giving us a chance to love someone.

love is a four letter word
there's no place to go to avoid this
if you're trapped into it, just feel it

love is holy thing that must be kept
it grows naturally
we can't guess who'll be the one that we love in this world

love is a precious thing that I ever felt
my love was taken by the one that ever be mine
yesterday was a history
tomorrow is a mystery

you know nothing towards your feeling when you're in love
it makes you smile
it makes you cry
it makes you sad
it makes you happy

when you go,
love will be with you whenever you're

where you go,
love will follow you wherever you're

when you get older,
love will follow you whatever you're



"Everything Has Changed" (Taylor swift duet with Ed Sheeran)


[Taylor Swift]
All I knew this morning when I woke
Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before.
And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago
Is green eyes and freckles in your smile
In the back of my mind making me feel right

[Taylor Swift]
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now

[Both]
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you

[Both]
'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
You'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

[Ed Sheeran]
And all my walls stood tall painted blue
And I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you

[Taylor Swift]
And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies
The beautiful kind, making up for lost time,
Taking flight, making me feel right

[Both]
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you


[Both]
'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
And you'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

Come back and tell me why
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh.
And meet me there tonight
And let me know that it's not all in my mind.

[Taylor Swift]
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you


[Both]
All I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
You'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

[Taylor Swift]
All I know is we said, "Hello."
So dust off your highest hopes
All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed
All I know is a new found grace
All my days I'll know your face
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

Senin, 29 Juli 2013

only one

When I can't close my eyes, I tried posting this blog. a week ago, I just had a kind of secret chit-chat with him, the one that ever be mine. and tonight, I remembered him but I can do nothing. I checked my laptop then I found this, hopefully he knows what's meant by this song. Happy watching :)


Yellow Card - Only One




Minggu, 28 Juli 2013

afgan - cinta tanpa syarat

Aku belajar mencintaimu
Mencintai Tanpa Syarat apapun
Meski kau yang tersulit untukku
Tapi aku tak ragu

Kini kita sudah semakin jauh
Bahkan sulit untuk kembali
Kuberi semua yang ada padaku
Tanpa syarat apapun

Aku ingin trrus ada dihatimu
Aku lelaki yang tak bisa mudah menggantimu
Meski aku takut akan kelemahanmu
Ku takkan lari karena cintaku sempurna

Kini kita sudah semakin jauh
Bahkan sulit untuk kembali
Kuberi semua yang ada padaku
Tanpa syarat apapun

Aku ingin terus ada dihatimu
Aku lelaki yang tak bisa mudah menggantimu
Meski aku takut akan kelemahanmu
Ku takkan lari karena cintaku sempurna

Minggu, 21 Juli 2013

you

we sat
we shared
we flashed our mind back


I sat
I shared you what I wanna say
I stared you deeply
I thought that you were mine

you sat
you shared me what you wanna say
you saw me, just saw me
and you realized me that you were not mine

it hurts since we weren't a part
it kills me since we broke up
it feels nothing since you're not mine

I feel nothing since you we're not mine
it's killing me since we broke up
it's hurting me since we we're not a part

you used to be mine
you used to be my sun
you used to be my star
you used to be my moon

you used to be my friend
you used to be my best friend
you used to be my boy friend

how big this love is
how long this journey will take me
and how will God show his way to make you meet me again?
someday, I believe in someday

with love
sleep well, there




Senin, 01 April 2013

Endless Story

hello.
it's a long time for me to not write in this electronic diary. I almost forget the password for this account hihihi. and, finally I'm still able to open this account. yaaaay :). 

as usual, now I'm going to tell ya about the lyrics of a song . this song's from Yuna Ito - Endless Story. this song was a mixed song between english and japanese. here you are, Yuna Ito- Endless Story :)

nb: just check the english translation by ur self guys :)



Yuna Ito - Endless Story

If you haven't changed your mind 
Soba ni ite hoshii yo tonight 

Tsuyo garu koto ni
Tsukareta no 
Osanasugita no Everytime I think about you baby 
Ima na rai eru I miss you 
It's so hard to say I'm sorry 

Tatoeba dareka no tame janaku anata no tame ni 
Utaitai kono uta wo 
Owaranai story tsuzuku kono kagayaki ni 
Always tsutaetai zutto eien ni 

Memories of our time together 
Kesanaide kono mama don't go away 

Ata takaku tokedashite tashikameru no 
Yasashisa no shizuku kono mune ni hirogatteku 
Setsunai hodo ni I'm missin' you 
Kasaneta te hanasanaide 

Tatoeba kanau nara mou ichido anata no tame ni 
Utaitai kono uta wo 
Owaranai story taemanai itoshisa de 
Tell me why oshiete yo zutto eien ni 

Tatoeba dareka no tame janaku anatano tameni 
Utaitai kono uta wo 
Owaranai story tsuzuku kono kagayaki ni 
Always tsutaetai zutto eien ni


Senin, 28 Januari 2013

make you feel my love - Adele

When the rain is blowing in your face,And the whole world is on your case,I could offer you a warm embraceTo make you feel my love.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear,And there is no one there to dry your tears,I could hold you for a million yearsTo make you feel my love.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet,But I would never do you wrong.I've known it from the moment that we met,No doubt in my mind where you belong.
I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,I'd go crawling down the avenue.No, there's nothing that I wouldn't doTo make you feel my love.
The storms are raging on the rolling seaAnd on the highway of regret.Though winds of change are blowing wild and free,You ain't seen nothing like me yet.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.Nothing that I wouldn't do.Go to the ends of the Earth for you,To make you feel my loveTo make you feel my love

Jumat, 28 Desember 2012

sad beautiful tragic - taylor swift

Long handwritten note, deep in your pocket
Words, how little they mean, when you're a little too late
I stood right by the tracks, your face in a locket
Good girls, hopeful they'll be and long they will wait

We had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

In dreams, I meet you in warm conversation
We both wake in lonely beds, different cities
And time is taking its sweet time erasing you
And you've got your demons and darling they all look like me

Cause we had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
Silence, the train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, and for the life of us we can't get back

A beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic, beautiful tragic, beautiful
What we had, a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair
We had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

Sabtu, 17 November 2012

take me somewhere nice, please!!!

I've just copied and paste these pictures. hope you'll understand the meaning. just guess the song and you'll know what song it is :).


















hopefully, you'll understand these pictures dear :)

Jumat, 01 Juni 2012

die in your arms - Justin Bieber


We feel, uh-huh yeah yeah
Alright, we feel, uh-huh
Yeah yeah, alright

So you love me
As much as I love you yeah
Would you hurt me baby
Could you do that to me yeah
Would you lie to me baby
Cause the truth hurts so much more
Would you do the things that drive me crazy
Be my heart still at the door
Oh, I can’t help it I’m just selfish
There’s no way that I could share you
That would break my heart to pieces
Honestly the truth is
If I could just die in your arms
I wouldn’t mind
Cause everytime you touch me
I just die in your arms
Oooh, it feels so right
So baby baby please don’t stop girl
Ooh, baby I know loving you ain’t easy
It sure is worth a try
Ooh, if there is a reason to call me a fool
Cause I love too hard
Are there any rules baby
This is the last time
And baby teach me to behave
Just tell me what I gotta do
Just to stay right next to you
Oh, I can’t help it I’m just selfish
There’s no way that I could share you
That would break my heart to pieces
Honestly the truth is
If I could just die in your arms
I wouldn’t mind
Cause everytime you touch me
I just die in your arms
Oooh, it feels so right
So baby baby please don’t stop girl
Basically I’m staying here
I can’t live without my baby
Loving you is so damn easy for me yeah
Ain’t no need for contemplating
Promise you won’t keep me waiting
Tell me baby, I’m all that you need
If I could just die in your arms
I wouldn’t mind
Cause everytime you touch me
I just die in your arms
Oooh, it feels so right
So baby baby please don’t stop girl
If I could just die in your arms
Imma make you believe girl
That I wouldn’t mind
Don’t stop baby no
It’s what you do to me yeah
Wooh, no oh
Baby please don’t go girl
Don’t go, no no no